Author Archives: Paula

The Letter

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(The story here is a version of what might have happened when the slave Onesimus returned to his master, Philemon. Purely conjecture, it is nevertheless partly based on facts.)

I heard the door of the outer chamber open and close and went to investigate. Quartus stood with Onesimus kneeling next him. Onesimus stared down, holding out a sealed letter.

“Onesimus has returned, master,” Quartus said.

“I see that, Quartus; you may leave us.” I was full of conflicting emotions. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Mostly relief. “The letter, Onesimus; what is this letter? Hand it to me.”

He stood and handed me the letter. He remained standing with his eyes averted while I read the whole thing through. In fact, I had to read it twice. It was from Paul, the apostle, imprisoned in Rome. The letter was a plea on behalf of my slave–a request to accept him back now that he’d become a follower of Christ.

It was a good letter and he made good arguments.

“Do you know what this means, Onesimus?” I asked him.

Onesimus nodded, his eyes still averted. “Master, I cannot speak as Paul does. His words are much more convincing. Of course, they are or I wouldn’t be here. All I know is that now I belong to Christ Jesus. I was freed from the bonds of my sin to serve Him. I suppose you could say I’m a slave in two ways; first to God and then because I’m still bound to you. That’s why I’ve returned.”

Yes, he knew exactly what it meant.

“You may go to your quarters, Onesimus.” He left and I sat down heavily on the chair by the table.

He’d made it all the way to Rome! Somehow he’d found Paul and now he was a follower of Christ and a brother. Of course, he knew what could happen to a runaway slave. But he returned.

I got up and paced the room. I pounded my fist on the table where the letter lay. I don’t know why I was so agitated. Paul’s letter requested nothing more than what my Lord would do. But forgiveness is hard, even when it’s someone you care about. And I had always cared about Onesimus. Maybe we hadn’t always seen him as anything but a house slave, but we cared about him.

I put my head in my hands and I prayed. I thanked God that Onesimus had made it safely to Rome and found Paul. It was a blessing that he could be of use to Paul so I thanked God for that as well. Then I prayed that God would give our household the willingness to accept my decision because we are bound together in love with Christ as our head. I sighed deeply before calling him to me.

“Onesimus, come!” Once again, he stood before me, his eyes cast down.

“Look at me,” I said. A man is what I saw through my eyes. But now, because of what had happened for Onesimus in Rome, I saw someone else in my heart.

I put my hands on his shoulders and squeezed. “Welcome home, Brother. It will be a pleasure having you here serving again.”

Time to De-Clutter

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In a burst of manic energy, I did some de-cluttering in my office. I’d needed to do it for a long time and it felt really good having some breathing space in there.

While I was cleaning, I managed to shed the equivalent of six banker’s boxes of paper, numerous items for the local charity discount store, the banker’s boxes themselves and even a bowling ball. I’m proud to say that all the items were recycled and didn’t find their way to a landfill. At least not by me.

Months later when I was planning my move from a two bedroom to a one bedroom apartment, I was forced to take a hard look at everything I owned. The Lord had directed me to simplify my life and this move was part of it. I would have to release some of my possessions. I wasn’t being asked to give up everything, but I was being asked to consider what really matters.

As far as material possessions are concerned, Jesus said, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal…for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19,21).

The most important thing, Jesus said, if we want to be his disciples is to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow him (Luke 9:23). This is how we find real meaning in our lives. (Mark 8:35, 36)

As I worked through the physical de-cluttering, I thought of some of the things that have cluttered up my heart and kept me from following Jesus according to his invitation. I praise God that he is helping me also release:

specific rules of men having no bearing on my salvation
resentments over hurts caused by others
worry

Without God’s help, de-cluttering my heart would be impossible. I haven’t the strength to let go of such things, because my “self” is so wrapped up in them. I also know that, just as I de-cluttered my home, there’s an ongoing process in which God prompts me to let go of those things that hinder my walk with him.

At times I hear a voice of rationalization: “This just might come in handy sometime.” But if I’m honest with myself, I see that voice for what it is. Hanging on to the old attitudes and behaviors is the equivalent of hanging onto material stuff. (Like a bowling ball I haven’t used in years.) They’re just not working anymore.

Those things drag me down and keep me from living in freedom. That saying about the things you own eventually coming to own you is true. I know because I’ve experienced it.

I know what it is to be ensnared by evil. To live in a cage of fear. To have no hope. Remembering what the darkness was like reminds me to be grateful for what I’ve been given and to freely give what’s been so freely given to me.

“De-cluttering” is part of the work God’s Spirit does for us when we choose to follow Christ. The Lord may not ask us to give up all our earthly goods, but he’ll certainly be there to help clean us up on the inside.

When I open my hand to let go of my “clutter” and let God work in my life, I discover what really matters. With an open hand I’m in a position to receive what he has to give. Then I can pour it out for others.

Mom Was Mission Minded

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Prior to the estate sale, Dad told each of his eight children to select one thing we wanted. He’d also selected one thing for us that he wanted us to have. The rest was up for auction.

My “one thing” was my Mother’s entire written materials. I had no idea what would be in that package, but I remembered Mom writing, always writing.

The package contained calendar type diaries, notes from stories she wanted to write and letters from our distant cousin, Mr. Lehman. This cousin’s letters offered a great deal about past generations and members of the family still alive. I remember Mom finding encouragement from the stories of relatives who emigrated from Germany. These were missionaries who’d been persecuted for their faith. He’d even been able to find their name, Christophel, which means “Christ carrier.”

Mom had a mission mindset and it was in her thick three-ring binder full of poetry where I discovered how serious missions was to her. There I found evidence that she’d hoped God would send she and Dad somewhere faraway to work as missionaries.

It wasn’t to be. God’s plan for her was to spread the gospel closer to home. As I remember it, and as the evidence shows, that’s what she did.

While I was growing up, my friends would come over to play and of course, she’d bring up her favorite topic: Jesus. Asking my friends if they were saved came as naturally to her as doling out cookies. She’d talk about the importance of having a relationship with Him. As long as they wanted the treats, she had a captive audience.

Once outside, my friends chided me. I was embarrassed, but I shouldn’t have been. After all, they were my friends. If I cared about them, I should have been telling them about Jesus.

Mom had opportunities to make an impact on children in other ways too. She always taught Sunday school; all grade levels. In the box of papers I also found a summer camp brochure where she’d been a counselor for a week.

As well as being a homemaker, Mom chose nursing as a career. She worked until she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma when my youngest siblings (twins) were almost two years old. I still lived in my hometown at that time and it wasn’t unusual for someone to approach me and reminisce about my mother’s bedside manner.

They’d say things like, “You know, when I was in the hospital, your mother was the best nurse I had.” These comments pleased me, but didn’t surprise me. She loved taking care of people. That was another way God chose to use her and though people never said so, I’m guessing Mom prayed with a few of her patients. She was a prayer warrior. Her favorite phrase was “Prayer changes things.”

It’s impossible to tell how many lives Mom touched as a “Christ-carrier.” Most of the clues came from observing her over the years and then making discoveries in that packet containing her papers and journals.

She kept track of her witnessing efforts with one person in particular–her oncologist. Notes made in the margins of her cancer journal revealed that she had witnessed to him and given him a “smiley face tract.” I suppose it was a last ditch effort to plant some seeds, because Mom had decided to stop having treatments.

While at a party a couple years ago, I was introduced to a woman who had known my mother. “What a striking resemblance,” she said. “And when I saw you go across the room just a few minutes ago, I noticed you even walk like her.”

I laughed at that. But thinking of it now, I realize my spiritual walk isn’t much like hers. I get a little hard of hearing when it comes to heeding the Lord’s instructions for me.

Not Mom; she heard the call of God on her life and got in step with the Holy Spirit immediately. Though her desire was to travel to distant lands, she was satisfied with a small town and the people God placed in her path. She focused on what mattered and wasn’t ashamed of the gospel.

I can hear the Savior saying to her, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Facing Adversity

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The journey of spiritual maturity isn’t always easy. From the first tentative steps we take as Christ followers, we experience hard times. Adversity comes to everyone, not just those who live in obedience to the sinful nature.

Yet with our eyes focused on Jesus, adversity doesn’t have the power over us it once had. If we’re living in his presence and listening for his voice, we understand more about who Christ is and we grow deeper in our relationship with him.

As we stay in step with the Holy Spirit, we experience less of the troubles we once made for ourselves. However, when those inevitable times of adversity come, we’re promised that they’re only for a specified time, which God has already ordained.

We also know that God is present in any circumstance, good or bad, and provides the resources we need to get through. The resource may come in the form of another person’s assistance, finances, a specific need for our health, or the prayers of the saints.

When hard times come and put us to the test, God always does his part; what is expected of us? In my experience, relying on God and deepening my conscious contact with him brings peace. Rather than running full-tilt to try and solve a problem, he’s shown me it’s better if I slow down. That doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means I slow down enough to hear what he has to say to me.

“I tell the Lord my troubles and difficulties, and wait for Him to give me
the answers to them,” said one man of God. “And it is wonderful how a
matter that looked very dark will in prayer become clear as crystal by the
help of God’s Spirit.” I think Christians fail so often to get answers to their
prayers because they do not wait long enough on God. They just drop down
and say a few words, and then jump up and forget it and expect God to answer them.
Such praying always reminds me of the small boy ringing his neighbor’s doorbell,
and then running away as fast as he can go. ~ E.M. Bounds

Scripture says we can rely on the power of God to help us through times of adversity. “We are struck down, but not destroyed.”

Jesus warned that in this world we would have trouble, then assured his disciples that he himself had overcome the world (John 16:33).

Following the Master means denying ourselves, which is to die to our rights; carrying our cross, which is to die to our old nature; and to follow, which is obedience.

What does that mean for us? Trials are bound to come in life even with our new life in Christ. But with the power of God working through us, we can overcome any situation and live the abundant life promised to us.

Without God, we’re helpless; but with him all things are possible

Fleshing Out a Flannelgraph

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“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

When I was a child going to Sunday school in the basement of my church they used “flannel graphs” to tell Bible stories. A flannel graph consisted of a flannel-covered board on an easel and cloth Bible characters. The characters stuck to the flannel as you placed them then peeled them while telling the story. There was Joseph and his brothers; Noah, the ark and the animals; and of course, Jesus.

The stories I heard about Jesus in Sunday school always made him sound larger than life. He worked miracles healing people and made a little bit of food go around to feed a multitude. He was a pretty awesome Jesus.

Then I’d go upstairs to big church and the pastor’s message about Jesus was that he died on a cross for me. That kept Jesus in the larger than life realm. Not knowing exactly what a crucifixion entailed, I assumed it was pretty bad and that I was lucky Jesus would do such a thing for me. The pastor talked about how angry God was about sin and how much I needed his forgiveness. He was a pretty awesome God too, but for different reasons. I made a decision to ask God to forgive me and asked Jesus to come into my heart.

God and Jesus fell into the larger than life category for a long time. And there’s nothing wrong with that; they are larger than life. But something was missing and it kept me from really knowing how much I could benefit from the decision I’d made about Jesus. I didn’t know it then, but what I was missing was Jesus with flesh on.

Skip ahead several years. I had become confused and disillusioned by church, leaving it to try my own way of living. I still believed in God, but he wasn’t part of my worldview. Then something happened to create in me a hunger for him and I returned to the church. Because I was hungry for God, I began to read my Bible. In fact, I devoured it. Guess what I found?

I found a Jesus with flesh on.

I don’t remember the folks in the church where I grew up talking about Jesus as a man. They must have, but I was young and mostly listening to the anger part. I never really got a glimpse of Jesus with flesh on until I read about him for myself. As I traveled through Galilee and the Judean countryside with him and his followers I watched him interact with people like a real person would. I saw him express emotions like anger, joy, and grief.

He got tired and slept. He got hungry and ate. He ate with friends and with some Pharisees (who weren’t always counted among the friendly). He worshiped on the Sabbath. He engaged in normal human activities found easily if you look in scripture.

Maybe it’s the storyteller in me that looks for what’s hidden. I look at more than just the words and read between the lines. For starters, he was a carpenter. Imagine Jesus banging his finger with a hammer and getting one of those black fingernails. We know he had sisters and brothers and though we aren’t told much about his childhood, it must have been a fairly normal one with playtime, chores, and “school”.

Then his ministry began. Look at the loaves and fishes story. After Jesus multiplied the food for the crowds, he sent his disciples on to Bethsaida “while he dismissed the crowd.” (Mark 6:45) Call me goofy, but I see Jesus talking to people as they leave as if he knows them personally. It’s not a “Hey, all of you, clear out of here now” type of dismissal. It’s the type of thing a host would do, saying goodbye to as many as possible and seeing that their needs are met. Anyway, that’s the Jesus I was getting to know.

I got to know a Jesus who was a single man all his life while many his age would have been betrothed or already married. Jesus lost a relative, John the Baptist, to a cruel death and took time to grieve alone before he was called again to minister to the crowds. Jesus’ closest relatives misunderstood him to the point that they tried to manipulate his actions, thinking they knew better what he should do. At a crucial moment, his best friends deserted him. One of his friends committed suicide.

After becoming familiar with this Jesus, I realized I need the God who’s larger than life and truly awesome. But I also need this Jesus that has been human and can understand what it’s like to be me. Many of us have no mate, have grieved the loss of a close relative, are genuinely misunderstood, and have been deserted by a friend.

Jesus with flesh on makes him able to relate to us in every problem and in every success. God wants to get up close and personal. He wants us to know he’s not just a flat personality we peel and stick to our circumstances when we need him. He’s a fleshed out God who relates to every situation in which we find ourselves. And his desire is that we’ll get to know him as that pretty awesome Jesus.

Don’t Melt…Down

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In the city where I live, there’s a busy road on which I travel often. And as I do, I nearly always catch the flashing message on a particular digital sign as I drive by. It says, “DON’T MELT… DOWN.”

The sign is for a jewelry store and I realize the rest of the message is about gold and silver jewelry and what the owners hope you’ll do with it. Nevertheless, “Don’t melt down,” is a reminder I need to hear now and then.

My lifestyle isn’t frustrated by busyness or a lot of noise. However, I’ve taken my turn at worrying. That’s when the reminder “Don’t melt down” comes in handy and my best reminders are from scripture.

Jesus teaches in the Sermon on the Mount not to worry. He says our Father in heaven considers us more valuable than birds. Of course, Jesus is right. And why would I want to borrow trouble from tomorrow when I have today to deal with?

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Jesus originated the idea for taking life one day at a time.

For those of us who can’t slow down, Jesus says, “The Sabbath was made for man.” We all need to stop and take time to rest. King Solomon observed that we “stay up late, toiling for food to eat” echoing Jesus in regard to our need for rest. Apparently even in ancient times there were “workaholics” who needed a reminder to take it easy. Not doing so would even affect their sleep.

Because I can’t always stop the inner head chatter on my own, I’m glad I have God’s word to help me. I’m not always driving down that busy road with the blinking jewelry store sign to remind me.

Besides, His voice is a better reminder for me to not “melt down.”

Give Gifts That Don’t Cost a Cent

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The gift of really listening
But you must really listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

The gift of affection.
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

The gift of laughter.
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, “I love to laugh with you.”

The gift of a written note.
It can be a simple “Thanks for the help” note or a full letter. A handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

The gift of a compliment.
A simple and sincere, “You look great in red,” “You did a super job” or “That was a wonderful meal” can make someone’s day.

The gift of a favor.
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind. And keep it to yourself.

The gift of solitude.
There are times when we want nothing better than to spend a little time alone. Be aware of how you can give the gift of solitude to another.

The gift of a cheerful disposition.
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a cheerful word to someone. It’s not that hard to say “Hello” or “Thank you.” And everyone looks better with a smile on their face.

Finding God in the Picture

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While visiting my hometown several years ago my sisters and I decided to take a walk through downtown. An acquaintance who was also out walking met up with us at a corner of town. She asked if I’d be attending the funeral of a high school friend. I was shocked. I told her I had no idea my friend had passed.

The next day, as I walked away from my seat at the graveside, my friend’s sister rushed up to me and hugged me tightly. “I knew you’d be here,” she said. Strange; I hadn’t planned on attending a funeral when I left home to go visiting. But apparently God was working in the background and had planned it for me.

I’ve come to believe God has a way of finding us and taking us where we belong.

Several times in my journey with God, he reminds me how important it is to acknowledge him in the circumstances of my life. For me, it’s been a process of knowing his ways (as well as a small person can know the ways of a sovereign God) and recognizing his voice when he’s speaking.

Back when God orchestrated the events that took me to my friend’s funeral, I just shook it off; I didn’t think twice about how it happened. Now, I see a little more clearly how he works. It’s no coincidence that I happened to be out walking and saw that particular person. It was no coincidence that she was the older sister of my best friend from high school who had passed away a couple years earlier.

Sandy, my best friend, and this woman who was also now gone from our lives, had been part of a foursome of teens that was almost inseparable. As much as my friend’s sister needed me to be there for her, I needed to be present for my own sake.

God in his sovereignty cares for and works out all aspects of my life even if I don’t see that work immediately. He may be working in the background and through unlikely people.

Events happen in my life that tempt me to question God. But I know better than to do that. Even during those times, because I’m his child, I’ve learned from experience he is always as close to me as he’ll ever be.

I’m reminded of the book of Esther. God’s name is never mentioned, but his presence is certainly there in the citadel of Susa. If we know what to look for and if we’re really looking, we can’t miss him. He’s guiding, providing for and protecting his beloved people. The young Jewish woman who was born Hadassah, became queen and influenced the king in a way perhaps no one else could.

One might say the book of Esther is a story of God finding a young Jewish maiden and taking her where she belonged.

My Big, Big World

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The ringing phone woke me up yesterday morning after I’d been up quite late the night before, unable to sleep. Even without glasses, I could see that the person on caller ID was someone I knew. When she began to speak, I knew her voice immediately.

She introduced herself and told me she had been reading, as part of her morning quiet time, a meditation in The Secret Place. She noticed the author was from the same city and state she lived in, so decided to look the author up in the phone book and give her a call.

The author was me.

All the time she was talking, I assumed she knew to whom she was speaking; then she asked me what church I attended. To her surprise, we attend the same church. In fact, three weeks ago, I sat next to her and her husband in the back row.

“Oh, now I know you,” she said. “I just didn’t connect the last name with your first name.” We chatted some more and then  rang off, saying something like, “See you Sunday.”

I wondered later if she said to herself, “Small World,” as many would be prone to do considering the circumstances. The idiom seems to fit because you feel like the world keeps bringing people into your life that were there all the time, unbeknownst to you.

But I say, “What a Big, Big World.”

Since I decided to follow Christ, He’s enlarged my space. In fact, He’s given me the whole world. By introducing me to the people of His Church, my “family” increased immediately.

He also gives me the world He wants to save. I’m warned to not conform to the world and its standards, but encouraged to remember what the darkness was like. From that attitude, I’m more able to see people who need Christ’s love shown to them just as I did (and still do).

With Jesus, I have a new relationship with the world which takes into consideration His agenda for saving those He loves and helping to bring them into a relationship with Him. “Go,” Christ says, into the world He created.

Formerly, my life reflected worldly values and behavior. That was a Small Space in which to live. I have to admit the temptations of the world are always there. But now, my fruitful life includes everyone I meet on the path God’s put me on. Each of them challenges me in some way to walk more closely with Christ, becoming a little more like Him every day.