(Late) Great Comebacks

Tell a story. People love stories. We can all identify with stories like this one: “Why didn’t I say…?”

One day, while using the computer at the local library to work on the internet, I nibbled almonds from a snack-sized zipper bag. It was the rest of my lunch, which I’d been eating on the run.

Our library–both branches–hires Library Police, security guards who cruise around trying to catch anyone not following rules. (Whatever those are.)

There were three or four almonds left in the bag when Mr. Library Policeman came up behind me and said in a soft voice, “Ma’am, there’s no eating in the library.”

My problems with authority are diminishing, so I put the almonds in my purse instead of saying what I wanted to say: “Well, apparently there is because I’m doing it.”

As I walked out of the branch library that day, it occurred to me that perhaps I could have made Mr. Library Police (that guy who has a grim face at all times) smile if I’d said,

“Oh, nuts!”