Top 10 Plagues Not Inflicted on Egypt

Posted on January 22, 2020 by Paula

Today my evil twin is itching to play. I’m reading the Bible through to the end again this year and I recently finished in Exodus the story of the flight from Egypt and the plagues God inflicted on the people there. Think of the horrors God could have sent to let them know He meant business.

Disclaimer: When a post of mine is filed in “Stuff That’s Funny,” it’s because it gives me a chuckle. Feel free to roll your eyes, groan, or even chuckle with me.

Top Ten Plagues Not Inflicted on Egypt

10. Chariot traffic jams

9. Allergies to henna

8. Granaries filled with jalapeno-flavored Jelly Bellies

7. The scent of kiwi strawberry incense in the streets like a pestilence

6. Rap music day and night in the temples

5. The Nile River is transformed to partially-set grape Jell-O

4. Cat idols coming to life and knocking things off every flat surface

3. Boils. Oh, wait. Well, that was a good plague because boils are pretty nasty.

2. Every other sentence your firstborn says starts with “I want”. (All the other sentences are, naturally, “Why not?”)

And the number one plague not inflicted on Egypt:

1. A pharaoh who talks like the Impressive Clergyman in “The Princess Bride”

For other funny stuff from the Israelites’ journey in the wilderness, see Exodus 32:21-24. When Moses catches them all dancing around a golden calf, Aaron demonstrates a knack for passing the buck.

“So I said to them, ‘Let any who have gold take if off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”

Yep, just like magic, it leaped out of the fire all polished and pretty. That naughty fire. Again, feel free to roll your eyes, groan, or chuckle along with me. But I didn’t make that one up. Aaron said that in front of God and everybody.

Oh my goodness, I do love reading God’s Word. And honestly, folks, I take God and my faith seriously, but I don’t take myself too seriously. Truth be told, I’m just like Aaron.

Be a blessing to someone today.

Top Ten Reasons It’s Cool to Be Christ-like

Posted on July 26, 2017 by Paula

If you’re serious about being like Jesus, here you go with some great ways to follow his lead.

Jesus lived a sinless life. 2 Corinthians 5:21; Colossians 1:19

Jesus prayed for His friends–and some people He’d never met. John 17:6-26

Jesus submitted to authority. John 12:49-50; Luke 22:42

Jesus forgives everyone. Everyone, no matter what they did or do. Luke 23:34; 1 John 1:9

Jesus never compromised the truth. Mark 8:34-35; John 8:10-11

Jesus guided people into truth without hitting them over the head with it. Matthew 5-7; Luke 24:25-27

Jesus is full of joy and peace–and shares it. John 14:27; John 15:11

Jesus kept his priorities straight and was good at time management. Mark 1:35-39

Jesus attended parties, enjoying fellowship with all types of people. Luke 7:36-38; Matthew 9:10; John 2:1,2

And the Number One Reason it’s cool to be Christ-like:

Jesus loves everyone, even those who don’t like Him and those who disagree with Him. Matthew 23:37

I Have Here in My Hand

Posted on January 23, 2017 by Paula

I don’t really have a list in my hand. I don’t have a band to give me a drum roll. But –– ta-da! –– here’s a list of the Top Ten posts from 2016. Here in my corner of the world, I enjoyed taking stock and reviewing the past twelve months.

Writing The Fruitful Life is its own reward so I don’t get into looking at hit counters and other stats too much. I don’t have crowds of followers. Frankly, I’d rather write and convince people to follow Jesus.

However, it’s nice at the end of the year to see which posts were favorites of the readers.

The list of the Top Ten Posts from 2016 (in order) might give you an idea of the tastes of the readership. When I do take time to look at stats, it’s also fun to see that readers come from all over the world. In November, when The Upper Room published a devotion I wrote, people flocked to the blog through the link UR supplied. That was kind of fun.

In addition to this list, people cruised the “About” pages and the Archives. I’m not savvy enough to know how it all works. But like I said, writing about my faith and hobbies in which I’m involved is the best reward. Most of these posts are faith-based.

Anyway, here’s the list. Click on the links if you’d like to read them. If you’ve been reading for a while, did you have one you particularly liked that didn’t make the top ten list?